last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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