My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
