So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
