i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Alive.
So much puke
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
