That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize