I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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