Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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