Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
