I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
