Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
