just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
