OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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