As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
