We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
