the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize