There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
