Duck Duck Cougar?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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