You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
