I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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