soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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