At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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