Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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