So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I want her autograph on my taint
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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