I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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