How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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