Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I supernannyed him into submission
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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