just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
