the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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