"it" just moved
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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