Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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