I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
