Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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(573): View more from Missouri

shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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(925): View more from California

Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me

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(269): View more from Michigan

Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.

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