Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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