He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
