Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
