please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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