i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
