Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
