Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
