I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
