We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize