We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
