They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
