We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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