apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i out mim tonsoeep
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