hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
