just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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