C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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