Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just sent this text using only my big toe
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
