Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
