five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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