The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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