well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
