So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
